omg I was so depressed today after walking through the shopping centre.I am not that small, I should be able to find lingerie that fits. I don’t think the sales staff appreciated me loudly muttering that there was too many fucking fat people these days. and when I went into the chain store the only sets I liked where in the upwards of $200, I am a stripper and I don’t think that is a reasonable amount of money.
ok I may invest in one set from there but if I need a range of 20 or so outfits I cant afford 4000 off bat. I ended up walking into a Asian store and buying the first size 6 item of clothing that I liked because I was happy I knew it would atleast fit.
I am so ashamed, I have spent 650 this week. I mean ok 165 was on petrol and house fees, fine. 75 was on outfits, 50 was on mums xmas present. 100 was on myki for next year and 10 was on hairdye but that leaves…260 on food, I know for a fact only at the most a third of that would be justified, I am so disgusted with myself. that’s a week of mortgage or rental payment,
speaking of which I need to come up with 1000 rent and also probably 4000 to my deposit and another 5000 for a holiday out of this hole, in January if possible, that doesn’t even include my 350 per week expenses. (12000). might just live in a tent for 3 months.
I am so sick of being bulimic but I don’t know where to start to quit, im not a fan of faa because they seem to focus on finding god as the healing process, im trying to pull my self together to engage in a live kundalini/yoga meditation class. but short of doing my best to confiscate my money as fast as I can from myself and trying to pump in my necessary expenses before I do so, it poses a real challenge. I need 1750 this week….
11 eggs, half a bag of carrots, 1 bag of pasta, half a bag of rice, can of lentils,can of beans, can of beef soup, 1/2 l milk, coffee, peppermint tea, 3 apples, 1 packet of pasta, 20 wheatbix,1 jar of honey. can of mushroom soup.