out of control

Ok so I have been out of control again. initially the extra 150 perweek coming out f my pocket slowed me up quite a bit but I fell off the bandwagon bigtime. I have been absolutely out of control there is no other way to describe it. it jumps to my mind as something I can look highly forward to at the end of a work shift or at the end of a day of uni classes. or as something early in the morning or as something I can do before I go home or as something I can do to cheer myself up after getting a shit quiz result or as something to mess with my metabolism or to forget about things. especially if I am unhappy with my appearance. its at the $20 a day stage again and I had it so well curbed

You know what the best part is? throwing it up when your reflux kicks into gear and your on a roll and it just flows. I love getting it all out. its up there with the feeling of euphoria in my opinion and eating what I want especially if it like a pie or chocolate on the train in front of other people

the worst part is the exhaustion, realising how much time you have cost yourself, the realisation at what you’ve spent in the last week, the fact it gets all over your clothes and car.

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