country living sucks!

100%

hello been a while since i have been on here but i suppsoe i will get back into it to get things off my chest.

work is crummy i dont like being there anymore when i used to at the very least just feel indifferent about it.

now onto country living. in reality it wasnt exactly my own fault it was the combination of the dodgy agent and my desperation to buy and the seelers desperation to sell. now i have read a few fantastic blogs on the issue and ebvery single thing that they said both 100% rang true. now some people might absolutley love country life and all credit to them but as a 24 yr old single woman that is probably a little more career rather than family focused i can assure you that it is absolutley not for me and i havenever been so miserable in my own life.

now here are the things that I personally find good about living out semi bush or as i like to sarcastically call it to my friends and family, bum fuck nowhere.

  1. the air is really super fresh.
  2. there is almost always no traffic and always possible to find parking most places that i go unles there is an event on.
  3. you get good value for money in your property. i have a 2 bedroom unit with a large backyard and a lock up garage as well as space to park an extra car and a front porch and back porch and seperate toilet and laundry. this is a good suburb would be triple the cost. or for the same money i will be getting a one bedroom unit with a bathroom/laundry and a living/dining and a marked space on the concrete for my car.
  4. bils are a little bit lower sometimes becasue it is considered rural
  5. you dont need a security system becasue of all of the stciky nose neighbours

 

WHY I HATE IT AND WHY OTHER PEOPLE LIKE ME ALSO SEEM TO HATE IT.

  1. No one there mind there own business. I feel like i am living in the most gossipy place in the entire world, i think it is because they have nothing better to do.
  2. you have to drive so far to get anywhere and it really drives your travel costs up quite massivley. it has caused me to struggle finncially becasue i am just spending such ridiculous amounts on petrol, its also tiring to travel so mcu.
  3. i feel that my future would be non existent out here becasue i am quite a career and modern idea acceptnce type of person. i feel miserable becasue there would seriously be no hope for me to get anywhere if i remained in the area as i am not interested in the house wife mum or boring basic entry level low paid jobs which i expect i would only get ifi had friends in the area.
  4. there is nothing to do, the closet yoga/dance/martial arts class is at least 20 km away and thekinds that i like to do re more like 40km away.
  5. there is nothing to look at, i can literally power walk my entire suburb in 45 minutes it is so unexciting and uninspiring.
  6. everyone no everyone you actually cant mind your own business and they all want to be best friends and im like leave me the fuck alone i dont want to be friends with you.
  7. there is alot morre gross bugs everywhere.
  8. the police are so bored and given they are less minoritys they pick on young people, a category that i apparently fit into.
  9. i have never felt so depressed in my life
  10. i have had to temporily give up on my education becasue the travel was actually literally impossible.
  11. the kind of people that i would date quite simply dont live in the area, i like proffessionals that are going somewhere in there careers, you know the corporate types with money.

 

 

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gut feeling

I have a feeling that something terrible is going to happen today. I had this unshakable anxiety like I want to throw up the same way before I have to go to a presentation or have a jpb interview. It happened after I semi had a go at my boyfriend for annoying me, I know that a lot of girls at work got fired last week so I hope that I have not been categorised with them, the neighbours cleaned up their gardens yesterday so now mine looks really bad and I don’t want them to complain.

I hope that my instinct is actually because of someone else, not long after I started feeling nervous and ill one of the main roads near my house was blocked off by the police. I think that the lady ext door is sick as well. who knows

 

side post.

old neighbours

pros

  • they are quiet
  • there properties are pretty tidy
  • you don’t really need a security system
  • they are quiet helpful
  • if their pets like you then they have to feel compelled to like you.

Cons

  • they are fucking nosy
  • they certainly set the standard on garden maintence
  • they sometimes like to start drama because they are bored and have no lives
  • they are suspicious of everything.
  • noisy small pets

hello

new house,

new car,

new man…(hopefully),

new cat

new perspective on life?…

 

what do you do when you are completely incapable of focusing and doing what you are supposed to unless presented with pressured circumstnaces or bound by occasional boughts of what appear to be way to enthusiastic to people that you know are obviously secretly observing you.

 

take a step back,(cut back work, cut backuni, what is the rush anyway) tick

tell people to back off, (maybe not by screaming at them next time but he deserved it) tick

attempt to use meditative techniques to refocus…

eat better…

trust that the correct actions will mean that the correct outcomes will follow. (ie eat normally and stop throwing up) might improve the migraine and feeling like shit all the time factor as well.

be appreciative towards people that are kind to you.

stop procrastinationg and therefore causing unnecessary stress.

tell people your circumstances in the first place.

accept the financial sacrifices that need to be made in order to achieve ones goals.

 

how to live in your car tsyles version

well I read a bit of advice and I am going to repeat the things that I thought where important.

  1. have everthing neatly arranged and stored.
  2. don’t sleep in the drivers seat- mental thing so you don’t associate the seat with sleep.
  3. canned food, milk powder, fast food is nice to get a hot meal but it is pricey. tuna snadwhiches are good and prozen food like pies will defrost if you leave them over night.
  4. definitely book a cheap hotel once a week to clean up properly and nicely. 1 night in a budget hotel was a third my weekly rent, stay from max check in to check out. you can get a shower on both days too!!
  5. the public toilet is your friend. if you trust the tap water go for it and also learn how to shower in the sink, also generally disabled toilets are more private.
  6. train stations and shopping centres usually provide good  overnight parking because a lot of people do night shift.
  7. probably don’t park near schools or in parks, it looks really sus.
  8. become a minimalist.
  9. keep it clean keep dirty clothes separate.
  10. parks and libraries and shop have free wifi.

retail therapy

i suspect my miserable mood is going to resul tin me buying a house in the next few days. a couple hundred thousand does differ to a few hundred though.\I suppose I just realised that I am going to be homless in 10 days, actually less unless I do something about it. I don’t know how I am supposed to pay a mortgage when I am supposed to be going overseas for a month in January and then to queensland in February to get some real money. – that should knock a good 5000-10000 off the mortgage.

I wonder how much of my text books I am actually allowed to legally copy. I aint spending 2000$ on books next year. lucky if I spend 250. I will just use the libraries books, the school fees are high enough, thankgod I don’t have to pay them up front.

oh remind me to aply for the Germany programme so I can get the hell out of shithell Melbourne for a whole month in winter. lol and im buying a house here why?

i think im dying

i have had a chronic earache for a week, it hurts like hell whenever I swallow. I hope if I stop throwing up for a day it might subside.

been awake since 4 need to know if I passed my classes this sem, 8 more minutes, already emptyied the bin, washed my face ate breakfast, did dishes. omg I feel sick

brain/head fog

eye issue earlier this week

earache

lethargy

bleeding stool

mild stomach ache

how many kids drop out of law school

in my law school we had 400 people start and 100 start midterm.  ireckon by the end of sem 1, 100 left either because they hated it and got out before cencus or failed., I’ll assume about 25 more left from the second group.

I think by the end of sem 2 at least 50 more will leave, (the ones that were in denial about their failing grades or the ones who decided this really is not for them afterall).

I darsay of the 375 left a good 100 of them dropped a unit or went part time. I will be very interested to see how many students are left at the end of year 2.

I daresay the next lot to go will be the ones who start to fall behind, the ones who reaslise they are in a category with slim job prospects (ie middle of the road student with no contacts) and the ones who are depressed, plus anyone who scraped by in first year but cant meet the calibre of standard in 2l.

hope I don’t fall into any of the highly likely to fail or quit categories.

thin girls cant find clothes that fit either

omg I was so depressed today after walking through the shopping centre.I am not that small, I should be able to find lingerie that fits. I don’t think the sales staff appreciated me loudly muttering that there was too many fucking fat people these days. and when I went into the chain store the only sets I liked where in the upwards of $200, I am a stripper and I don’t think that is a reasonable amount of money.

ok I may invest in one set from there but if I need a range of 20 or so outfits I cant afford 4000 off bat. I ended up walking into a Asian store and buying the first size 6 item of clothing that I liked because I was happy I knew it would atleast fit.

I am so ashamed, I have spent 650 this week. I mean ok 165 was on petrol and house fees, fine. 75 was on outfits, 50 was on mums xmas present. 100 was on myki for next year and 10 was on hairdye  but that leaves…260 on food, I know for a fact only at the most a third of that would be justified, I am so disgusted with myself. that’s a week of mortgage or rental payment,

speaking of which I need to come up with 1000 rent and also probably 4000 to my deposit and another 5000 for a holiday out of this hole, in January if possible, that doesn’t even include my 350 per week expenses. (12000). might just live in a tent for 3 months.

I am so sick of being bulimic but I don’t know where to start to quit, im not a fan of faa because they seem to focus on finding god as the healing process, im trying to pull my self together to engage in a live kundalini/yoga meditation class. but short of doing my best to confiscate my money as fast as I can from myself and trying to pump in my necessary expenses before I do so, it poses a real challenge. I need 1750 this week….

11 eggs, half a bag of carrots, 1 bag of pasta, half a bag of rice, can of lentils,can of beans, can of beef soup, 1/2 l milk, coffee, peppermint tea, 3 apples, 1 packet of pasta, 20 wheatbix,1 jar of honey. can of mushroom soup.